Right when I feel like my heart and head are growing and ready to start the adoption process, my heart and head have a different idea. It happens when I read blogs or hear other's stories. Prior to reading or hearing, I am full steam ahead...we are going the adoption route! Then I take in new information AND the tears start flowing AND my heart aches for not having our own children AND I question if adoption really is for us. I pray for peace and guidance and knowing truth, but I always end up feeling and reacting the same way. On top of it all, I dream almost every night that we have children or we are pregnant expecting our third infant. In the dreams, I am either pregnant and on bed rest in the hospital or holding a baby. Each dreaming cloud is very specific though. I either know the child is ours biologically or I know the baby has been adopted. SO, that confuses me even more.
God, please show up in a real and tangible way. I can't do this by myself. I give it to you over and over again.
