Could this become ours???

We will see.

I had a realization today about being a new mother.  New moms are incredibly busy with their new, little charge.  Taking care of the needs of another from feeding to changing to catching baby's new facial expressions to doctor appointments.  What I realized, when I became a mother and other parents like me whom have lost their children, parenting is still a full time job.  The difference is that parenthood now presents in the form of grief rather than nursing, changing diapers, scheduling naps and the list goes on and on.  Both definitions of the job of parenting are incredibly important.  Grieving is a full time job.  I have always felt like I am a parent and I realize some have trouble swallowing this definition of parenting.  I am a mom.  I am experiencing an aspect of motherhood that no mother should ever have to experience, yet it is still the reality of being a parent.

A sculpture made by a good friend, Katy, in honor of our first son, Ethan, and a baby girl who also took "early flight".

Makeshift Milkshake

I am still managing to stay away from processed foods and added processed sugars.  It's amazing!  I feel like a rock star.  Part of what is contributing to success up to this point, thankfully people have shared a couple of recipes with me for when my sweet tooth is acting up.  The following is a milkshake of sorts that my sister taught me.  Here goes and as you will see, I didn't really pay attention to measurements:

Ice

Milk or cream (half of the amount of ice)

1 T of peanut butter

1 T of cocoa powder

Sugar substitute or squirt of honey to you liking

1 T almonds

Toss all the items in a blender and mix well.  You can change this up however you like.  For instance, I added the almonds and changed using a sugar substitute to using honey.  You could probably add strawberries to this, really whatever you fancy.  The hard part has been not eating one of these everyday.  Enjoy!

 

Isn't it amazing when your heart and mind experience a new realization about yourself, the world around you or life in general?  Over the past month, a handful of items have been moving around in my soul.  The initial uncovering is quite painful, humiliating, shocking and threatens to bring shame, but the Beauty that follows surpasses all these things.  A new Freedom is felt, a new lightness, a new sense of self as well as a new sense of not belonging to oneself.  Does it stick around and persist?  For me, no, but now I know what is possible and I desperately pray for it to return and Infiltrate my heart; change me for good and stay with me and may I share it with others.

Pacifying Pancakes

Recently, I chose to give up flour and processed sugar, again.  *sigh*  I am not a fast learner.  I have done this several times in the past and it always amazes me how much better I feel and how efficiently my body operates.  You think that would teach me something, right?  Nope.  I always go back to my old ways.  Well, I have jumped back on the trolley.  It is going well thus far and I realized last night that I have had only one headache, no stomach aches, no bloating or feeling heavy and clearer thinking in the past couple of weeks.  Oh, I can't forget to mention and this one is huge, no heartburn.  I have had heartburn since November!

All this said, when I ran across this recipe for makeshift pancakes, I almost fell out of my chair.  It is funny, as I am not even a huge pancake fan.  The recipe is as follows:

1 egg

1 banana

1 T peanut butter

Mix it up and throw it in the skillet!  Yep!  That is all.

Now, if you know me, I can't leave well enough alone, so I added a couple items.

2 T almonds ground up

2 T oats ground up

Mix all 5 items together in the blender and now toss it in the skillet in butter, coconut oil, etc.

My opinion...this is a keeper.  Are they pancakes?  No, but I am absolutely alright with that since I do not like how pancakes make me feel afterwards.  I am thrilled with how these taste knowing there are no fake yucks hiding anywhere in the mix, but next time I make them, I may add a smidgen of honey, cinnamon and nutmeg to the mix.  You can really tweak these however you like.  For "syrup" I blended up blueberries, a couple strawberries and 2 tablespoons of OJ.  When you use as much of the concoction as you like on your pancakes, you have enough left over to drink as a smoothie.  Next time, I am going to try pineapple "syrup".  Side note:  Use a good blender and this will not take near as long as it took me.  This recipe made 3 pancakes.  I wonder if these can be placed in the freezer?

So Many Things

Ahhh!  There are so many things I want to do...

have chickens

make my own skin products

sew, sew, sew

design and start our garden

make my own herbal teas

get rid of the junk in our diets

discover a good and recommended green smoothie

be in community and share all this with others

...and bring our babies along for the ride.