New Diagnosis New Grief But Different

Yesterday, we received an updated diagnosis regarding why we lost Ethan. Come to find out, we experienced a placental infarction. Have you ever heard of this? I sure had not up until yesterday. It seems that it resembles a heart attack yet it happens in the placenta. A blood clot forms, cuts off blood flow which cuts off oxygen and that portion of the placenta dies, which means Baby is not getting the nourishment he or she needs. It generally does not become evident that the baby is not thriving until later in the pregnancy and there is no way to really prevent this from happening as the doctor agreed it is "a freak thing" other than taking a baby aspirin to try and prevent any blood clots from forming.

Upon hearing this news, of course I cried. It was a new bit of information and therefore something new to grieve over. Coming out of the doctor's office, Matt and I were able to both say that we felt blessed too. I was "a millimeter more happy" knowing that my body did not "drop" our baby. Also, upon arriving at home after our appointment, I did some research on PI and read other's stories of their experiences. After doing so, I could feel how God was all over our situation. Our pregnancy did not progress to the point of us ever experiencing Ethan not thriving or unhealthy and having the stress of knowing these facts as his parents. We were able to experience Ethan alive and peaceful, which helps me sleep and function better.

Yesterday, my Aunt Julie was also taken home to be with Jesus. She was 58 and passed away in her home. She had been struggling with diabetes and complications from the disease for years. She is loved by many here, but I am joyful that she is whole, healthy and dancing in the streets of Heaven on legs she will never have to worry about again.

Not only do I like this shot because my husband IS handsome, but I also enjoy the natural back lighting offered by the setting sun. This photo was taken with a 35mm camera and purposefully blurred the background through use of a wide aperature to bring emphasis to Matt's features.

The above are a handful of shots from my latest roll of film. I dusted off the macrolens and put the tripod to work for some of these, while I teetered the camera on a chair back or laid prone on the sidewalk in front of our house for the others. Most of these shots are extended exposure anywhere from 5 seconds to 20. Enjoy!

Geocaching Proof

I have mentioned geocaching before, so I wanted to share some photos of our latest treasure hunt. We went to Chattanooga last weekend and while traveling there and back, we found four caches in different locations. It is a fun way to learn about an area, therapize your visual-perceptual skills (an OT would say that) and break up the trip so you don't get so fidgety. Those are my reasons anyway AND it is fun!

Nothin' Like It

Mexican Train Dominoes is more fun than a barrel full of monkeys. Hands down! My Grandma taught me how to play about four or five years ago. Growing up, whenever we would go visit my grandparents, the card table was always pulled out to the center of the room. Three different generations of family would crowd around to spend time with each other as well as offer up some friendly competition. Playing games is part of my past. It opens up time to bond with loved ones and have a good time, while getting us away from our cell phones and other everyday items that are generally overstimulating. I hope to keep the fun and family bond together through games. It is important and special.

Growth!

Here is the first tomato plant to emerge for the gardening season of 2012! We are up and running! This photo was taken about a week ago, so even now the tomato is sharing true leaves with the world. I have said it before and I will say it again...I love gardening!

Geocaching is awesome! Check it out!

The 2012 garden has been officially started! Oh, I love gardening. It gets me outside in the sunshine with dirt under my nails and I get to nurture something. Oh, and check out the shadows in the photo...the sun is out! We haven't seen the sun in about a week. Today was beautiful and I am thankful I was able to enjoy it. The above plants will be part of our garden, but I am prepping even more for a charity garage sale come late March or early April at my brother's house. I will give more information closer to the event. Come on out!

Acting on 2012

These photos are not incredibly "wow" but it is the first roll I have had developed since the New Year. To me, it means that I am actively pursuing some of the things I wanted to achieve in 2012. The photos were actually taken back in Summer of 2010 at a fish fry in Augusta, GA and the flower was taken in Highlands, NC.

I am continuing to make good on my desires for this year, which it a true accomplishment for me. I tend to have great ideas but difficulty with the follow through aspect of the mission. I have learned the basic stitch for knitting, actively pursuing photography, have read more, possibly found a new church home, etc. I am thankful for these opportunities and truly blessed!

2012 Desires

Desire List for 2012:

1. Have another child
2. Laugh more
3. Love more
4. Read more
5. Breathe deeply and move my body
6. Experience the joy I find in photography, again
7. Grow a garden
8. Destroy my craft room through creativity
9. Be part of a flash mob
10. Learn to knit
11. Pray and seek God
12. Find a church home
13. Fall more in love with my husband (than I already am)
14. Travel to visit with friends that have moved away
15. Welcome and cuddle friend's babies that are expected in 2012
16. Ride my bike more
17. Learn more about the relationship between food and how it effects my body/emotional health
18. Discover amazing cheeses ( I tend to stare at specialty cheeses from afar)