Decisions, decisions.  Sometimes they are easy to obtain like grabbing the OJ out of the fridge, yet other times it is like trying to grab a fish out of the water with your bare hands.  To make matters worse, that fish is your next meal and survival is dependent on you snagging it.  Loss of footing or a tip of the boat, the fish you brushed with your fingertips is gone and your hunger pains are just that...painful and stabbing with despair and panic not too far behind.  Picture painted?  Ok.

So, what does making a huge decision look like in the realm of deciding to try and have another baby after losing Ethan and Samuel versus adoption?  It isn't easy like wanting a sweet treat and grabbing the OJ from the big, cold box in your kitchen.  Rather it feels like the meal that just got away and the hunger pains are setting in, along with the panic and anxiety.  The panic leads to thrashing around in the water, scaring any potential dinner away and leaving me breathless and exhausted, hopeless and sad.

Several small situations happened to us since last Thursday.  Do they mean anything?  God uses the big as well as the small in this life to do His work.  I believe this.  I believe in the small things and think they can be even more powerful than the big.  Our boy's lives reflect that notion(small in stature).  So, was it any small thing that Matt asked about a particular church and the work they do in the community?  Or us talking about maybe taking some steps towards adoption and seeing if those doors open or close?  An hour and a half past that discussion, was it a small thing that we were randomly handed prepared information on an adoption meeting taking place in two weeks at the aforementioned church?  Now that I have labeled it as small, I realize how BIG it has the potential to be. 

There is a plan.  I don't know it.  Someone else does.

A precious baby so small yet so big.