I had such a great realization today! It came about due to some literature I have been reading on adoption in regards to adoptive parents experiences with having children that are not biological. Their point of view has me realizing things about my own family and we are all blood related. For me, it has been a very personal realization and eye opening, especially in being raised with a blended family. I am still processing these new thoughts, so I will get back to you...
Have you had any eye opening moments today?
"Learning" continued...
I am currently reading A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents edited by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe. One of the entries by Jacquelyn Mitchard titled "Which One Are Yours?" really resonated with me. Jacquelyn explains how she and her first husband, prior to him passing away from cancer, had biological children as well as adopted. After her husband passed and with time, she married again. Her current husband legally adopted all the children from her previous marriage and then they together adopted even more children. The essay opens with Jacquelyn being interviewed by a reporter with the reporter asking the despised question of "Which one are yours?" while looking over a photo of all her children. This question always upsets the author. The interviewer becomes somewhat frustrated with the interviewee as she will not answer the question the way the interviewer wants her to, by labeling which children are biological and which ones are adopted. Jacquelyn just won't do it! While describing yet another scenario, she states, "She assumed that since I didn't have a "normal" family according to her calculus-that is to say, "biological"-she had a right to treat them as "chemical," as if they were interesting objects who might be examined under her personal microscope, as if they were not living, loved, sentient humans with ears to hear and hearts to harm." Another statement I read and really appreciated goes as follows, "I was adopted" not "I am adopted."
In the intro, I mentioned my own biological family, so you may be wondering my point or the connection here. Well, I come from a blended family, in fact, that is all I know. I am 33 years old. All of my siblings were raised together and treated equally. All seven of us. When people ask me how many "real" brothers and sisters I have, it upsets me. Who is allowed to downplay the number of "real" kids in my family. No one. We all have "ears to hear and hearts to harm." We are all real. So, I am forever changing how I answer the question of how many real siblings I have. We are all real. Love is real. Family is real no matter how it looks. Sidenote: Due to my parents both remarrying, I not only have real siblings, I also have real aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and family friends that I never would have known. I am thankful for all of my real family and looking forward to sharing and expanding it through adoption.
"Learning" continued...
I am currently reading A Love Like No Other: Stories from Adoptive Parents edited by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe. One of the entries by Jacquelyn Mitchard titled "Which One Are Yours?" really resonated with me. Jacquelyn explains how she and her first husband, prior to him passing away from cancer, had biological children as well as adopted. After her husband passed and with time, she married again. Her current husband legally adopted all the children from her previous marriage and then they together adopted even more children. The essay opens with Jacquelyn being interviewed by a reporter with the reporter asking the despised question of "Which one are yours?" while looking over a photo of all her children. This question always upsets the author. The interviewer becomes somewhat frustrated with the interviewee as she will not answer the question the way the interviewer wants her to, by labeling which children are biological and which ones are adopted. Jacquelyn just won't do it! While describing yet another scenario, she states, "She assumed that since I didn't have a "normal" family according to her calculus-that is to say, "biological"-she had a right to treat them as "chemical," as if they were interesting objects who might be examined under her personal microscope, as if they were not living, loved, sentient humans with ears to hear and hearts to harm." Another statement I read and really appreciated goes as follows, "I was adopted" not "I am adopted."
In the intro, I mentioned my own biological family, so you may be wondering my point or the connection here. Well, I come from a blended family, in fact, that is all I know. I am 33 years old. All of my siblings were raised together and treated equally. All seven of us. When people ask me how many "real" brothers and sisters I have, it upsets me. Who is allowed to downplay the number of "real" kids in my family. No one. We all have "ears to hear and hearts to harm." We are all real. So, I am forever changing how I answer the question of how many real siblings I have. We are all real. Love is real. Family is real no matter how it looks. Sidenote: Due to my parents both remarrying, I not only have real siblings, I also have real aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and family friends that I never would have known. I am thankful for all of my real family and looking forward to sharing and expanding it through adoption.
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